The Secure Love Podcast
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast, where licensed therapist Julie Menanno brings real-time couples therapy to life. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Julie works with couples to uncover the roots of their struggles, break free from negative cycles, and create stronger, more secure relationships.
If you’re curious about the process of couples therapy or looking for a podcast for therapists to inspire your practice, this show offers valuable insights grounded in attachment theory. As one of the leading resources in the space, this podcast about couples therapy provides practical tools and relatable stories to help listeners better understand their own relationships.
S3 | Session 6: When the Fixer Finally Puts Down His Tools
We pick right back up in the middle of our session with Rachel and Mike. After Rachel courageously bared her soul, the energy in the room is incredibly heavy. Now, we turn our focus to Mike.
S3 | Session 5: What Does Your Fear Need?
Have you ever fought so hard for a connection that one day, you simply run out of energy? You stop yelling. You stop protesting. You just… go quiet.
S3 | Session 4: Building a Positive Cycle from the Fear of Disappointment
Leading up to this week's session, we have established a new foundation of vulnerability and we tackle one of the biggest challenges in their relationship: Mike's family. For Rachel, the family dynamic is an environment where she feels constantly pushed to the side. But for Mike, stepping out of line with his parents triggers a profound, physical alarm response in his nervous system.
Session 19: Unpacking Shame and The Reality of Healing (Season Finale)
We enter the final session of Season 2 with a deep dive into the roots of shame. Julie steps in to distinguish shame from guilt, helping Brian see that his exhaustion and relentless drive for success aren't just personality traits—they are survival strategies designed to hide a core belief of being "defective" or "less than".
Session 18: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 2)
We begin in a difficult place, with Brian feeling targeted and defensive, and still struggling to see his role in the negative cycle. Julie confronts this directly, pushing for ownership to uncover the shame underneath . This leads to a crucial realization: Brian's "overwhelm" during their hardest years wasn't just bad luck, but partially self-inflicted by a desperate need to over-perform and avoid feeling "less than"
Session 16: "Full Breathable Lungs": The Power of Vulnerability
We continue to ride a wave of progress this week. Bethany and Brian report zero negative cycles, and Bethany steps up during a family crisis, healing the wound of Brian's daughter feeling "dropped". We then pivot to the deeper wounds driving Brian's intense perfectionism. A seemingly small conflict about mulch reveals his childhood history of feeling "less than" his peers, driving him to hold himself and Bethany to unrealistic standards to avoid ever feeling that inadequacy again .
Session 15: Healing the Wound of "Not Mattering"
We start with a victory: Bethany and Brian successfully navigate a conflict without spiraling, turning a sarcastic comment into a moment of repair . Digging deeper, we find the wound fueling Brian's sarcasm: a fear that his daughter is being "segregated" or "dropped," just as he was by an uncle in childhood .
Session 14: Moving Towards a Positive Cycle
We are finally seeing genuine momentum. This week, Bethany and Brian report being in a "good space," having successfully navigated a conflict without spiraling into a negative cycle for the first time in weeks. You'll hear how Bethany paused to articulate her intent, allowing Brian to truly hear her rather than react.
Session 10: Does it Get Worse Before It Gets Better?
After a long holiday break, Bethany and Brian have lost momentum and are "not in a good spot." Brian opens the session feeling "checked out" and asks, "Is this insanity?" while Bethany feels like she's "walking on eggshells," afraid to trigger him.
A Year Later with Melissa & Drew (Season 1 Update)
This week, we take a special mid-season break to catch up with our Season 1 couple, Melissa and Drew. It's been a year since we last heard from them, and they're back to share an honest update.
Session 8: Why Do We Lie?
Why do we lie to the people we love? This week, we dive into that question by exploring the roots of Bethany’s financial dishonesty—a betrayal that has broken Brian’s trust and left him questioning everything.
Season 2 Trailer: Can They Find Their Way Back?
In Season 2 of The Secure Love Podcast, licensed therapist and author Julie Menanno returns with a new couple: Bethany and Brian, separated, on the brink of divorce, and making one final attempt to repair their relationship.
Unpacking the Journey: A Live Q&A with Melissa, Drew, and Julie
In this special live Q&A episode, Melissa, Drew, and Julie reflect on their transformative journey through 20 sessions of couples therapy.
The Journey Toward a Secure Love (Season Finale)
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Julie works with Drew and Melissa in their final therapy session, focusing on Drew's shame and self-acceptance.
The Anxious-Avoidant Conflict Resolution
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno explores the intricate balance of emotional engagement and self-regulation in relationships through the lens of real-life couple Melissa and Drew.
Fear, Frustration and the Other Side of the Protest
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno continues working with Melissa and Drew, building on their previous session.
Moving Towards a Positive Cycle & Understanding the Avoidant Partner
In this week's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew recount a transformative moment from their Fourth of July weekend. Picture this: amidst the typical holiday stress, a disagreement escalates in front of their kids. Instead of spiraling further, they pause and ask each other, "Hey, can we try this again?" It's a simple question, but one that marks a significant milestone in their journey.
Unraveling the Roots of the Negative Cycle Pt. 2
This week's episode of The Secure Love Podcast opens with Drew reflecting on the early years of their marriage. His reflection leads to a heartfelt apology to Melissa for not showing up the way she needed, eliciting both an emotional reaction and a tremendous sense of relief for her.
Apply To Be On The Podcast
Are you and your partner open to exploring your relationship with guidance from Julie Menanno while sharing your journey with others? We’re looking for couples willing to participate in real-time recorded sessions for an upcoming season of The Secure Love Podcast.
This is a unique opportunity to receive support while helping others learn through your experience. Sessions will be recorded and shared publicly via podcast platforms, our website, and social media.
If you're interested, please complete this form. Both partners must participate in the application process.