Attachment-Based & EFT-Trained
Relationship Coaching for Couples and Individuals
Work one-on-one with an attachment-trained relationship coach to transform insecure patterns into secure connection. Our evidence-based, EFT-informed coaching is personalised for every couple and individual, and available online worldwide.
“Having attachment needs doesn’t make you needy.”
Julie Menanno
Attachment-Informed
EFT-Trained Team
Global & Bilingual Access
What is relationship coaching?
Relationship coaching is one-on-one support that helps couples and individuals understand their patterns, break negative cycles, and build secure connection. At The Secure Relationship, every relationship coach is trained by Julie Menanno in attachment science and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and sessions are available online worldwide. Coaching is education and guidance, not therapy — more on that below.
Your Team
Meet your relationship coaches
Every coach on our team is personally trained by Julie Menanno in EFT and attachment-based relationship coaching.
-
Julie Menanno, COACH
Best-selling author of Secure Love and Instagram’s @TheSecureRelationship, Julie is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and global relationship coach. She trains every TSR coach in evidence-based EFT and attachment science, blending two decades of clinical experience with warm, practical guidance for lasting connection.
-
Benjamin Massey, COACH
Benj helps individuals and couples build secure, fulfilling relationships by combining attachment science, practical communication tools, and a deeply compassionate approach. Known for his calm presence and thoughtful insight, he supports clients in breaking reactive cycles, strengthening emotional safety, and developing the confidence to show up authentically in love and life.
-
Cindy Poulsen, COACH
Drawing on years in medical social work, Cindy specializes in grief, chronic illness, infertility, and end-of-life challenges. Certified in EFT, she combines practical education, humor, and deep empathy to dismantle disconnection cycles and foster renewed joy and clarity in relationships.
-
Lizeth Felix, COACH
Fluent in English and Spanish, Lizeth pairs EFT, CBT, and Attachment-Model coaching to support couples, daters, and individuals healing past wounds. Her crisis-response background sharpens her calm, compassionate presence, guiding clients toward secure bonds and confident self-expression.
-
Jaime Cecutti, COACH
With 25 + years guiding couples and families, Stanford- and Columbia-trained Jaime focuses on premarital prep, betrayal healing, and major transitions. Mentored by Julie in EFT, she offers structured roadmaps, gentle humor, and research-backed tools that turn uncertainty into secure, hope-filled connection.
-
Joshua Ollswang, COACH
A licensed psychotherapist with 15+ years’ practice, Joshua integrates EFT, Gottman, IFS, and Interpersonal Neurobiology to heal relational trauma, enhance intimacy, and create collaborative, judgment-free space for growth. His academic work spans Stanford, Juilliard, and the University of Chicago.
-
Nicole Bihl, COACH
With 15 years’ experience and advanced EFT training, Nicole helps partners break negative defense cycles and individuals cultivate secure attachment. Clients love her balance of deep insight, humor, and actionable tools that rebuild trust, emotional safety, and resilience through life’s transitions.
Who It’s For
Couples coaching and individual coaching
Whether you come as a couple or on your own, our coaching meets you where you are.
Couples coaching
Work together to understand your negative cycle, communicate your needs, and rebuild emotional safety and connection.
Individual coaching
Understand your own attachment patterns and learn to show up differently in your relationships, even if your partner isn’t ready to join.
From Anywhere
Online relationship coaching, anywhere in the world
We work with clients worldwide who are committed to strengthening their relationships, with themselves and their loved ones. All sessions are virtual, so you can access expert relationship coaching from anywhere.
Complete intake
Tell us about you and what you’re working toward.
Pick your coach
Choose the EFT-trained coach who fits you best.
Pick a time
Find a session time that works for your schedule.
Booked
Meet online and begin building secure connection.
Positioning
Relationship coaching vs therapy: what’s the difference?
Relationship coaching is forward-focused education and guidance. It helps you understand your patterns and build practical skills for secure connection.
It is not therapy: our coaches do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions, and coaching is not a substitute for mental health treatment. This is also why coaching can be offered worldwide, while therapy is limited by state licensure.
Coaching
Forward-focused education and guidance. Build practical skills for secure connection, available online worldwide.
Therapy
Diagnoses and treats mental health conditions. Coaching is not a substitute for therapy.
Our Method
How Our Relationship Coaching Sessions Are Structured
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and How is it Related to Attachment?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and is rooted in attachment theory, which views humans as innately social and wired for close, intimate relationships. Attachment theory explains the stress and behaviors we exhibit in response to challenges in our closest relationships, particularly when we lack consistent emotional security.
When significant relationships are in distress, individuals may adopt anxious or avoidant behaviors, driven by attachment-related fears. This can trigger a negative cycle where protest and distance replace connection and understanding. EFT uses attachment science to identify and slow down these negative patterns, helping couples and individuals reshape their interactions and improve emotional regulation.
EFT emphasizes understanding emotions, communicating clearly, and fostering nurturing responses in relationships. Whether in couples coaching or individual coaching, EFT explores the emotions generated by connection, helping clients break free from negative cycles and develop secure, fulfilling relationships.
The Three Stages of EFT Coaching
One
De-escalation
The first stage focuses on identifying distressing interaction patterns and de-escalating the negative cycle. This stage typically takes 5–20 sessions and involves:
Gaining a history of the relationship and individual attachment experiences.
Recognizing triggers and unraveling steps of the negative cycle.
Helping both partners understand how their protective behaviors impact the relationship.
Goal: Shift perceptions from seeing each other as “the enemy” to understanding the negative cycle as the real issue. As communication improves and repair happens faster, couples transition to Stage 2.
Two
Restructuring
The second stage is about creating new, deeper patterns of interaction. Partners learn to:
Share emotions and vulnerabilities in a safe space.
Show acceptance and compassion for each other.
Address fears, insecurities, and doubts that hinder trust and connection.
Coaches guide couples in expressing their needs and desires clearly and responding to each other with empathy and support. This stage typically takes 5–15 sessions.
Goal: Build a secure relationship where partners feel safe, understood, and supported by each other.
Three
Consolidation
The final stage focuses on solidifying progress and creating a plan for maintaining emotional connection. Over 2–4 sessions, couples:
Review the positive changes made.
Develop strategies to prevent future negative cycles.
Create a roadmap for sustaining their emotional bond long term.
Goal: Ensure that the relationship remains strong and secure, even through future challenges.
Why Choose EFT Coaching?
EFT coaching helps clients uncover the root causes of relationship distress, offering tools to:
Understand and regulate emotions.
Improve communication and break negative cycles.
Build trust, intimacy, and emotional security.
Whether you’re seeking to repair a struggling relationship or deepen your connection, EFT coaching provides a structured, proven path toward lasting change.
Begin
Schedule your coaching session
Work directly with an attachment-trained coach on your specific relationship. A 15-minute intro call is a great place to start.
-
One-on-one support that helps couples and individuals understand their patterns, break negative cycles, and build secure connection, grounded in attachment science and EFT.
-
Yes. Everyone on the team is dedicated to this style of coaching, trains frequently, and works from an EFT-informed approach.
-
Yes. All of our coaches work remotely, so clients can be seen anywhere in the world.
-
Coaching is forward-focused education and guidance; our coaches do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions, and coaching is not therapy or a substitute for it.
-
Weekly sessions usually give the best results. A 15-minute intro call is a good way to find a rhythm that fits.
-
Please check with your carrier about coverage for coaching; we cannot provide Superbills.
Frequently asked questions
Still have questions about our coaching services?
Attachment-based tools, scripts, and insights to help you build emotional safety and real connection.
© 2025 The Secure Relationship. All Rights Reserved.