Online Men’s Group, Live on Zoom
Online Men’s Group: Building Emotional Attunement and Connection
Most men don’t have anywhere to bring the hard parts. The distance that’s grown with your partner. The way you go quiet, or go sharp, when you’re overwhelmed. This is a small online men’s support group for that, led by Joshua Ollswang and built on one idea: the way you connect with the people you love is learnable, and it’s easier to learn alongside other men doing the same work.
$200 per group
That’s $50 a night. Join one group or both.
Four Thursdays, 6pm ET
90 minutes on Zoom, one evening a month, November to February.
Scholarships
Full scholarships for veterans, first responders and school teachers.
What is a men’s group?
A men’s group is a small, recurring gathering where men talk honestly about their relationships, their reactions and what’s underneath them, with a facilitator keeping the room safe. Ours meets online, draws on attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy, and works toward one practical outcome: becoming the partner and father you want to be, in the moments that matter most.
“I’ve read and heard a lot about it and seen scripts and tools, and brought those to my relationship, but it was another thing to see someone do it, even just for one to two minutes at a time.”
Daniel B., February 2026
Does this sound familiar?
You want to be more emotionally available to your partner and your kids, and you’re not sure how.
Something has gone wrong in your relationship and you want to repair it rather than manage it.
You go defensive, or go blank, in exactly the moments that matter most.
You’re tired of being the guy who has it handled, and you feel more alone in it than you should.
You want the experience, maybe for the first time, of being genuinely known by other men.
If any of these land, you’re who this group was built for. Plenty of men spend their first night just listening, and that’s a normal way to start.
This Season
Two groups, November through February
Each group stands on its own. Josh designed them as one capacity trained from two directions, so joining both gives you the full season. Every session starts at 6pm Eastern, which is 5pm Central, 4pm Mountain and 3pm Pacific.
Group one · Starts November 5
The Strength of Tenderness
Most men were taught early to keep being moved to themselves. This group trains the capacity to feel it and let it show, so the people you love can actually receive your care, and so you can receive theirs without deflecting it.
Four Thursdays, 6pm ET: November 5, December 3, January 7 and February 11
$200 for all four nights · $50 a night
Group two · Starts November 19
The Power of Increasing Self-Awareness
Between what was said and what you did, something happened inside you, fast enough to go unseen. This group slows that moment down: what fires first, the story the alarm tells, the pattern it protects, and how to catch it one step earlier than last time.
Four Thursdays, 6pm ET: November 19, December 17, January 21 and February 25
$200 for all four nights · $50 a night
Inside a session: what happens on the night
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01. A short lesson
A shared language for attachment, the anatomy of a negative cycle, and what repair actually takes.
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02. Open discussion
Men bring their own situations to the whole room, and hear them echoed back.
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03. Live role play
Josh takes a real statement from a real relationship and plays out the response in front of everyone. It’s the part members talk about afterward.
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04. Your breakout group
The same small group of men every session, led by peer guides Josh has trained. Men who would never speak on a big call find that they will. Nothing is recorded, so what happens in the room stays there.
What we talk about: examples of our conversations
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Attachment and how you’re wired
Do you identify more as anxious, avoidant, secure or disorganized?
Who was there in childhood when you needed help?
How did you know you were loved as a boy? How about now?
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Reaching, and being reached for
How do we reach for someone when we’re in need, and ask for what we want?
How do we give our partners space and honor their need for time alone?
How do we validate and empathize in new ways?
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Conflict, repair and what sits underneath
What’s beneath anger and reactivity?
Responsiveness compared with defensiveness, and impact versus intention.
Apologizing, making amends, and forgiving others and ourselves.
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Presence with someone else’s pain
Sitting with someone without taking over, rushing them or fixing it too fast.
Conversations about sex, emotions, communication and intimacy.
What weight do we carry, and how would we rather show up?
What this group is not
It isn’t group therapy, and it isn’t a substitute for clinical care. There’s no diagnosis, no treatment plan and no clinical record. Many members are also in individual or couples coaching, and the group works alongside that.
And we laugh together. A lot, actually.
Who Leads the Group
Joshua Ollswang
Relationship coach and men’s group founder
Josh has spent more than fifteen years working with individuals, couples and families, and more than ten years founding and leading men’s groups in Manhattan, Chicago, Montana and online. He’s trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, Internal Family Systems and trauma-informed care, and Julie trains and meets with him and the rest of our team almost every week.
Away from the groups he swims in cold open water, works metal, plays three, four and five player chess, and will talk about Star Wars for as long as you let him.
15+ years working with clients · 10+ years leading men’s groups · MA, University of Chicago · Trained in EFT, plus Gottman, IFS and trauma-informed care
From the men in the room: men’s group testimonials
Cost Shouldn’t Be the Reason
Scholarships are easy to ask for
If cost is what’s holding you back, write to us and we’ll work it out. Full scholarships are available for veterans, first responders and school teachers, and we’re glad to help anyone else who needs one.
Or email support@thesecurerelationship.comJoin From Anywhere
Looking for a men’s group near you?
If you’ve searched for a men’s group in your city and come up short, that’s exactly why this one is online. Josh founded and led in-person groups in Manhattan, Chicago and Montana before bringing the work to Zoom, and members now join from across the US and abroad, including New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Washington DC, Silver Spring and Montana.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Each group is $200 for all four nights, which works out to $50 a night. You can join one group or both. Scholarships are easy to request, and full scholarships are available for veterans, first responders and school teachers.
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Each group meets once a month for four months, on Thursdays at 6pm Eastern, for 90 minutes on Zoom. The Strength of Tenderness meets November 5, December 3, January 7 and February 11. The Power of Increasing Self-Awareness meets November 19, December 17, January 21 and February 25.
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Every session starts at 6pm Eastern, which is 5pm Central, 4pm Mountain and 3pm Pacific. If a booking confirmation shows a different time, go by 6pm Eastern.
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No. This is a facilitated men’s group, not group therapy. There’s no diagnosis, no treatment plan and no clinical record. Josh’s facilitation draws on his training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, Internal Family Systems and trauma-informed care. Many members are also in individual or couples work, and the group sits alongside that rather than replacing it. If you’re in crisis or need clinical care, this group is not a substitute for it.
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Because a place is held for you. Groups are kept small and the work depends on the same men being in the room each time, including your breakout group, so you register for the whole group rather than dropping in.
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No. Plenty of men spend their first night listening, and that’s a normal way to start. Most find that the smaller breakout groups make it easier to speak when they’re ready.
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Not at all. Most men who join have never been in a group like this. You don’t need any background in attachment theory or therapy, just a willingness to show up.
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Each group stands on its own, so either is a good place to start. Josh designed them as one capacity trained from two directions, though, so joining both gives you the full season.
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It’s led by an experienced coach with more than ten years of running men’s groups, it follows a structure each night (a short lesson, open discussion, live role play and a breakout group), and it’s grounded in attachment science rather than general conversation.
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This group meets online, so you can join from anywhere. Men join from New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Washington DC, Montana and across the US and abroad. Sign up through our booking page and you’ll get the Zoom details before the first night.
Spots Are Limited
Save your seat for this season
The first group starts Thursday, November 5. Groups are kept small, so seats are limited. Not sure yet? That’s normal. Most men who join weren’t sure either.
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Sign up for this season
Choose The Strength of Tenderness, The Power of Increasing Self-Awareness, or both.
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Ask us anything
Not sure which group fits, or whether a group is right for you? Write to us and we’ll help.
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Find your attachment style
Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to see how you tend to react when connection feels threatened.