The Secure Love Podcast
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast, where licensed therapist Julie Menanno brings real-time couples therapy to life. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Julie works with couples to uncover the roots of their struggles, break free from negative cycles, and create stronger, more secure relationships.
If you’re curious about the process of couples therapy or looking for a podcast for therapists to inspire your practice, this show offers valuable insights grounded in attachment theory. As one of the leading resources in the space, this podcast about couples therapy provides practical tools and relatable stories to help listeners better understand their own relationships.
S3 | Session 1: Setting the TEMPO to Uncover Deep Wounds
We are kicking off Season 3 with a brand new couple, Rachel and Mike. Unlike previous seasons, we are using an intensive therapy model, diving deep into their dynamic over a compressed timeframe. On paper, Rachel and Mike are a committed power couple running a successful business. But underneath, they are stuck in a painful anxious-avoidant cycle.
Session 15: Healing the Wound of "Not Mattering"
We start with a victory: Bethany and Brian successfully navigate a conflict without spiraling, turning a sarcastic comment into a moment of repair . Digging deeper, we find the wound fueling Brian's sarcasm: a fear that his daughter is being "segregated" or "dropped," just as he was by an uncle in childhood .
Session 14: Moving Towards a Positive Cycle
We are finally seeing genuine momentum. This week, Bethany and Brian report being in a "good space," having successfully navigated a conflict without spiraling into a negative cycle for the first time in weeks. You'll hear how Bethany paused to articulate her intent, allowing Brian to truly hear her rather than react.
Session 11: I Just Don't Think She Really Cares About Me
What happens when a couple survives a major crisis, only to be thrown back into their negative cycle by a simple text message? This week, after Bethany recounts a traumatic car accident and Brian's initial, supportive response, a seemingly small conflict about a baby monitor spirals into a "knock-down, drag-out" fight.
Session 10: Does it Get Worse Before It Gets Better?
After a long holiday break, Bethany and Brian have lost momentum and are "not in a good spot." Brian opens the session feeling "checked out" and asks, "Is this insanity?" while Bethany feels like she's "walking on eggshells," afraid to trigger him.
Session 9: The Knock-Down, Drag-Out Fight for Co-Regulation
What happens when a couple survives a major crisis, only to be thrown back into their negative cycle by a simple text message? This week, after Bethany recounts a traumatic car accident and Brian's initial, supportive response, a seemingly small conflict about a baby monitor spirals into a "knock-down, drag-out" fight.
Session 7: The Original Wounds of the Negative Cycle
For anyone wondering why they keep hitting the same wall in their relationship, this session is essential listening. This week, we go back to the beginning to uncover the origin stories of Bethany and Brian’s core wounds—the first major hurts that set their painful cycle in motion and are still alive in their conflict today.
Session 6: Can a Relationship Ever Really Be 50-50?
What is the emotional cost for the partner who is left behind in the silence? This week, we turn to Bethany’s side of the story to understand her experience of being on the receiving end of Brian's threats to leave. We explore the cycle of confusion and anxiety that begins the moment he emotionally withdraws.
Session 5: I Didn't Get Married to Throw it All Away
What is the emotional cost for the partner who is left behind in the silence? This week, we turn to Bethany’s side of the story to understand her experience of being on the receiving end of Brian's threats to leave. We explore the cycle of confusion and anxiety that begins the moment he emotionally withdraws.
Session 3: When You Get Scared, I Get Scared
What happens when a real-life crisis puts your relationship’s progress to the ultimate test?
Session 1: Wifi Passwords & The Corny Suit of Vulnerability
In the Season 2 premiere, we meet Bethany and Brian, a couple stuck in a painful cycle of conflict fueled by their attachment styles, Brian's anxious patterns and Bethany's avoidant retreat. This session lays the groundwork for the season as we explore how they each respond when triggered.
Fear, Frustration and the Other Side of the Protest
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno continues working with Melissa and Drew, building on their previous session.
A Protest for Love: Fighting to be Seen
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Julie explores the challenges Melissa and Drew face during their anniversary trip.
Moving Towards a Positive Cycle & Understanding the Avoidant Partner
In this week's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew recount a transformative moment from their Fourth of July weekend. Picture this: amidst the typical holiday stress, a disagreement escalates in front of their kids. Instead of spiraling further, they pause and ask each other, "Hey, can we try this again?" It's a simple question, but one that marks a significant milestone in their journey.
Unraveling the Roots of the Negative Cycle Pt. 2
This week's episode of The Secure Love Podcast opens with Drew reflecting on the early years of their marriage. His reflection leads to a heartfelt apology to Melissa for not showing up the way she needed, eliciting both an emotional reaction and a tremendous sense of relief for her.
Unraveling the Roots of the Negative Cycle Pt. 1
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, we dive into Part 1 of a compelling two-part series exploring deep-rooted challenges in Melissa and Drew's relationship. Reflecting on last week's chaos when Drew returned to a patio strewn with toys, Melissa revisits her feelings of frustration. She was ready to support Drew, but his withdrawn demeanor left her feeling helpless and disconnected.
Finding Balance in Chaos: Who Gets to Hurt Worse?
In this week's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew dive into a common household challenge that many parents face: the chaos that greets them at the end of a long workday. Drew comes home from a demanding day at work, only to find his kids throwing toys across the patio and being a bit more rowdy than he anticipated. In these situations, Drew wishes he could ease into his evening, but is frustrated by the commotion, leading him to irritation and a tendency to shut down.
Handling Crisis: The Anxious-Avoidant Clash
This week on the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew share their breakthroughs and real-life applications of their therapy work with Julie Menanno. They've been learning to identify and break their negative cycles, but as always, the journey is full of ups and downs.
Take me Out to the Ballgame: Navigating Attachment Fears and Finding Co-Regulation
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew find themselves caught in a familiar struggle at a baseball game with their kids. Drew checks out, feeling overwhelmed, leaving Melissa to handle the kids alone. Sound familiar?
Breaking The Negative Cycle
In the first episode of The Secure Love Podcast, we meet Melissa and Drew, a couple navigating the complexities of their relationship. Melissa opens up about her experience of anger and shutdown when she feels disconnected from Drew during stressful times.
Apply To Be On The Podcast
Are you and your partner open to exploring your relationship with guidance from Julie Menanno while sharing your journey with others? We’re looking for couples willing to participate in real-time recorded sessions for an upcoming season of The Secure Love Podcast.
This is a unique opportunity to receive support while helping others learn through your experience. Sessions will be recorded and shared publicly via podcast platforms, our website, and social media.
If you're interested, please complete this form. Both partners must participate in the application process.