Session 6: Can a Relationship Ever Really Be 50-50?

Season 2
Written By Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC

Have you ever gotten caught up in the “50/50” debate in your relationship? This week, we explore the messy, emotional reality that lives underneath the fight for fairness. The session dives into a conflict where Brian feels he’s carrying an unequal share of the load, from household chores to finances, leaving him feeling unseen and unappreciated.

We explore how the argument isn't really about who does what, but about Brian's desperate cry to be seen and valued for his contributions. His hurt comes out as anger and protest, but underneath lies a deep-seated feeling of being unworthy that stems from his childhood and his parents’ divorce.

This episode reveals the powerful shift that occurs when protest gives way to pain. The turning point isn't a logical solution to dividing chores; it's the moment Brian's raw vulnerability finally reaches Bethany, instantly softening her heart. It’s a profound lesson that true connection isn’t born from strategy or proving a point; it’s born from the courageous act of showing our wounds.

This week’s prompt: Think about a time you fought about fairness or "50/50" in your relationship. What was the deeper feeling or unmet need hiding beneath the logistics?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

 
Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC

Julie Menanno, MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. Julie operates a clinical therapy practice in Bozeman, Montana, and leads a global relationship coaching practice with a team of trained coaches. She is an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples and specializes in attachment issues within relationships.

Julie is the author of the best-selling book Secure Love, published by Simon and Schuster in January 2024. She provides relationship insights to over 1.3 million Instagram followers and hosts The Secure Love Podcast, where she shares real-time couples coaching sessions to help listeners navigate relational challenges. Julie also hosts a bi-weekly discussion group on relationship and self-help topics. A sought-after public speaker and podcast guest, Julie is dedicated to helping individuals and couples foster secure, fulfilling relationships.

Julie lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband of 25 years, their six children, and their beloved dog. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, skiing, Pilates, reading psychology books, and studying Italian.

https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/
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Session 5: I Didn't Get Married to Throw it All Away