Session 5: I Didn't Get Married to Throw it All Away

What is the emotional cost for the partner who is left behind in the silence? This week, we turn to Bethany’s side of the story to understand her experience of being on the receiving end of Brian's threats to leave. We explore the cycle of confusion and anxiety that begins the moment he emotionally withdraws.

We journey into the pain Bethany so often holds inside—the feeling of being punished for a crime she doesn’t understand, triggering her deepest fears of failure and abandonment. For someone who has never been the one to threaten divorce, this dynamic leaves her feeling like the "bad guy," responsible for a rupture she doesn't know how to fix.

This episode reveals the profound shift that happens when pain is shared from a place of pure vulnerability. By giving voice to her sadness and fear, Bethany bypasses Brian's defenses, activating his empathy for the first time and proving that speaking from the heart can build bridges where frustration once built walls.

This week’s prompt: Reflect on a time you felt left in silence by a partner. What story did you tell yourself in that silence, and what was the core fear underneath it?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationhip.com. Your submission might be featured in a future episode.

 
Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC

Julie Menanno, MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. Julie operates a clinical therapy practice in Bozeman, Montana, and leads a global relationship coaching practice with a team of trained coaches. She is an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples and specializes in attachment issues within relationships.

Julie is the author of the best-selling book Secure Love, published by Simon and Schuster in January 2024. She provides relationship insights to over 1.3 million Instagram followers and hosts The Secure Love Podcast, where she shares real-time couples coaching sessions to help listeners navigate relational challenges. Julie also hosts a bi-weekly discussion group on relationship and self-help topics. A sought-after public speaker and podcast guest, Julie is dedicated to helping individuals and couples foster secure, fulfilling relationships.

Julie lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband of 25 years, their six children, and their beloved dog. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, skiing, Pilates, reading psychology books, and studying Italian.

https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/
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Session 4: Why Does Leaving Feel Better Than Staying?