The Secure Love Podcast
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast, where licensed therapist Julie Menanno brings real-time couples therapy to life. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Julie works with couples to uncover the roots of their struggles, break free from negative cycles, and create stronger, more secure relationships.
If you’re curious about the process of couples therapy or looking for a podcast for therapists to inspire your practice, this show offers valuable insights grounded in attachment theory. As one of the leading resources in the space, this podcast about couples therapy provides practical tools and relatable stories to help listeners better understand their own relationships.
S3 | Session 3: He Probably Wishes He Hadn't Chosen Me
If you listened to our previous episode, you know Rachel and Mike ended their first session with a beautiful breakthrough. But in the real world of relationships, progress is rarely linear. In this episode, we drop into the next session to find Rachel fighting a powerful urge to detach.
S3 | Session 1: Setting the TEMPO to Uncover Deep Wounds
We are kicking off Season 3 with a brand new couple, Rachel and Mike. Unlike previous seasons, we are using an intensive therapy model, diving deep into their dynamic over a compressed timeframe. On paper, Rachel and Mike are a committed power couple running a successful business. But underneath, they are stuck in a painful anxious-avoidant cycle.
Season 3 Trailer: I Leave You Because I Leave Me
In Season 3 of The Secure Love Podcast, Julie Menanno introduces Rachel and Mike—a couple who look perfect on paper but are quietly drowning in the dark. Rachel, a widow who risked everything for a fresh start, finds herself in a lonely battle for priority, while Mike, the "steady" husband, retreats into his head to avoid failing her.
Session 18: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 2)
We begin in a difficult place, with Brian feeling targeted and defensive, and still struggling to see his role in the negative cycle. Julie confronts this directly, pushing for ownership to uncover the shame underneath . This leads to a crucial realization: Brian's "overwhelm" during their hardest years wasn't just bad luck, but partially self-inflicted by a desperate need to over-perform and avoid feeling "less than"
Session 17: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 1)
We begin with a powerful example of breaking generational cycles: Brian shares a breakthrough moment with his daughter, helping her process bullying instead of telling her to "toughen up" . This shifts to an exploration of Brian's own history—the "very good reasons" for his perfectionism and "hard outer shell," tracing back to a critical teacher and feelings of abandonment .
Session 16: "Full Breathable Lungs": The Power of Vulnerability
We continue to ride a wave of progress this week. Bethany and Brian report zero negative cycles, and Bethany steps up during a family crisis, healing the wound of Brian's daughter feeling "dropped". We then pivot to the deeper wounds driving Brian's intense perfectionism. A seemingly small conflict about mulch reveals his childhood history of feeling "less than" his peers, driving him to hold himself and Bethany to unrealistic standards to avoid ever feeling that inadequacy again .
Session 15: Healing the Wound of "Not Mattering"
We start with a victory: Bethany and Brian successfully navigate a conflict without spiraling, turning a sarcastic comment into a moment of repair . Digging deeper, we find the wound fueling Brian's sarcasm: a fear that his daughter is being "segregated" or "dropped," just as he was by an uncle in childhood .
Session 11: I Just Don't Think She Really Cares About Me
What happens when a couple survives a major crisis, only to be thrown back into their negative cycle by a simple text message? This week, after Bethany recounts a traumatic car accident and Brian's initial, supportive response, a seemingly small conflict about a baby monitor spirals into a "knock-down, drag-out" fight.
Session 8: Why Do We Lie?
Why do we lie to the people we love? This week, we dive into that question by exploring the roots of Bethany’s financial dishonesty—a betrayal that has broken Brian’s trust and left him questioning everything.
Session 7: The Original Wounds of the Negative Cycle
For anyone wondering why they keep hitting the same wall in their relationship, this session is essential listening. This week, we go back to the beginning to uncover the origin stories of Bethany and Brian’s core wounds—the first major hurts that set their painful cycle in motion and are still alive in their conflict today.
Session 5: I Didn't Get Married to Throw it All Away
What is the emotional cost for the partner who is left behind in the silence? This week, we turn to Bethany’s side of the story to understand her experience of being on the receiving end of Brian's threats to leave. We explore the cycle of confusion and anxiety that begins the moment he emotionally withdraws.
Session 4: Why Does Leaving Feel Better Than Staying?
What happens when the fear of being hurt makes leaving feel safer than staying? This week, we dive deep into Brian and Bethany’s journey as Brian shares a distressing dream and a painful childhood memory that reveal the roots of his mistrust and his instinct to detach when he feels trapped.
Session 2: “Second-Class Citizen” – Understanding What Lies Behind the Anger
In this week’s session, we dive deeper into Brian’s inner world as he unpacks the painful feeling of being a “second-class citizen” in his relationship with Bethany. What does it mean to feel unimportant to the person you love and how does that hurt turn into anger?
Season 2 Trailer: Can They Find Their Way Back?
In Season 2 of The Secure Love Podcast, licensed therapist and author Julie Menanno returns with a new couple: Bethany and Brian, separated, on the brink of divorce, and making one final attempt to repair their relationship.
The Journey Toward a Secure Love (Season Finale)
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Julie works with Drew and Melissa in their final therapy session, focusing on Drew's shame and self-acceptance.
Do You Think That He Can Love This Anxious Part of You?
This week on the Secure Love Podcast the focus continues on Melissa’s experience as the anxious partner and her journey toward self-acceptance.
Perfectionism to Self-Regulation: The Anxious Partner's Journey
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno focuses on Melissa’s anxious attachment style, exploring her emotional regulation challenges and the roots of her people-pleasing tendencies.
What Happens When the Avoidant Partner Faces Their Anger?
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, couples therapist Julie Menanno focuses on Drew, the avoidant partner in his relationship with Melissa, as they continue working through disconnection issues in their marriage.
The Shame that Blocks Connection
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Drew confronts his deep-seated feelings of shame, tracing their roots back to childhood experiences, including a pivotal moment at a baseball game when his father left him.
Facing the Inner Critic: Moving from Shame to Vulnerability
In this episode, Drew, the avoidant partner in his relationship with Melissa, begins to confront his deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and shame. Drew's inner critic, which has driven him to seek perfection and self-improvement, also caused emotional pain and isolation.
Apply To Be On The Podcast
Are you and your partner open to exploring your relationship with guidance from Julie Menanno while sharing your journey with others? We’re looking for couples willing to participate in real-time recorded sessions for an upcoming season of The Secure Love Podcast.
This is a unique opportunity to receive support while helping others learn through your experience. Sessions will be recorded and shared publicly via podcast platforms, our website, and social media.
If you're interested, please complete this form. Both partners must participate in the application process.