The Secure Love Podcast
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast, where licensed therapist Julie Menanno brings real-time couples therapy to life. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Julie works with couples to uncover the roots of their struggles, break free from negative cycles, and create stronger, more secure relationships.
If you’re curious about the process of couples therapy or looking for a podcast for therapists to inspire your practice, this show offers valuable insights grounded in attachment theory. As one of the leading resources in the space, this podcast about couples therapy provides practical tools and relatable stories to help listeners better understand their own relationships.
S3 | Session 3: He Probably Wishes He Hadn't Chosen Me
If you listened to our previous episode, you know Rachel and Mike ended their first session with a beautiful breakthrough. But in the real world of relationships, progress is rarely linear. In this episode, we drop into the next session to find Rachel fighting a powerful urge to detach.
S3 | Session 2: Escaping to the Head When the Heart Gets Scared
Welcome back to the second half of our first session with Rachel and Mike. After Rachel courageously opens up about her deep grief and abandonment fears, the emotional stakes in the room are high.
S3 | Session 1: Setting the TEMPO to Uncover Deep Wounds
We are kicking off Season 3 with a brand new couple, Rachel and Mike. Unlike previous seasons, we are using an intensive therapy model, diving deep into their dynamic over a compressed timeframe. On paper, Rachel and Mike are a committed power couple running a successful business. But underneath, they are stuck in a painful anxious-avoidant cycle.
Season 3 Trailer: I Leave You Because I Leave Me
In Season 3 of The Secure Love Podcast, Julie Menanno introduces Rachel and Mike—a couple who look perfect on paper but are quietly drowning in the dark. Rachel, a widow who risked everything for a fresh start, finds herself in a lonely battle for priority, while Mike, the "steady" husband, retreats into his head to avoid failing her.
Session 19: Unpacking Shame and The Reality of Healing (Season Finale)
We enter the final session of Season 2 with a deep dive into the roots of shame. Julie steps in to distinguish shame from guilt, helping Brian see that his exhaustion and relentless drive for success aren't just personality traits—they are survival strategies designed to hide a core belief of being "defective" or "less than".
Session 18: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 2)
We begin in a difficult place, with Brian feeling targeted and defensive, and still struggling to see his role in the negative cycle. Julie confronts this directly, pushing for ownership to uncover the shame underneath . This leads to a crucial realization: Brian's "overwhelm" during their hardest years wasn't just bad luck, but partially self-inflicted by a desperate need to over-perform and avoid feeling "less than"
Session 17: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 1)
We begin with a powerful example of breaking generational cycles: Brian shares a breakthrough moment with his daughter, helping her process bullying instead of telling her to "toughen up" . This shifts to an exploration of Brian's own history—the "very good reasons" for his perfectionism and "hard outer shell," tracing back to a critical teacher and feelings of abandonment .
Session 13: From Bad Guy to Bad A**: The Avoidant Partner Reclaims Her Voice
Last week, we explored the "why" behind Bethany's avoidant behavior. This week, we go deeper, uncovering the pain she has been silently carrying to keep the peace. For years, Bethany has minimized her own needs, believing her hurts "don't rise to the level" of the pain she caused Brian. But this silence has come at a cost: disconnection, resentment, and the loss of her own voice.
Session 4: Why Does Leaving Feel Better Than Staying?
What happens when the fear of being hurt makes leaving feel safer than staying? This week, we dive deep into Brian and Bethany’s journey as Brian shares a distressing dream and a painful childhood memory that reveal the roots of his mistrust and his instinct to detach when he feels trapped.
Session 1: Wifi Passwords & The Corny Suit of Vulnerability
In the Season 2 premiere, we meet Bethany and Brian, a couple stuck in a painful cycle of conflict fueled by their attachment styles, Brian's anxious patterns and Bethany's avoidant retreat. This session lays the groundwork for the season as we explore how they each respond when triggered.
Season 2 Trailer: Can They Find Their Way Back?
In Season 2 of The Secure Love Podcast, licensed therapist and author Julie Menanno returns with a new couple: Bethany and Brian, separated, on the brink of divorce, and making one final attempt to repair their relationship.
Unpacking the Journey: A Live Q&A with Melissa, Drew, and Julie
In this special live Q&A episode, Melissa, Drew, and Julie reflect on their transformative journey through 20 sessions of couples therapy.
Do You Think That He Can Love This Anxious Part of You?
This week on the Secure Love Podcast the focus continues on Melissa’s experience as the anxious partner and her journey toward self-acceptance.
Perfectionism to Self-Regulation: The Anxious Partner's Journey
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno focuses on Melissa’s anxious attachment style, exploring her emotional regulation challenges and the roots of her people-pleasing tendencies.
The Anxious-Avoidant Conflict Resolution
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno explores the intricate balance of emotional engagement and self-regulation in relationships through the lens of real-life couple Melissa and Drew.
What the Anxious Partner Needs vs What the Anxious Partner Communicates
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Julie Menanno explores the complex communication patterns between Melissa, the anxious partner, and her husband Drew.
What Happens When the Avoidant Partner Faces Their Anger?
In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, couples therapist Julie Menanno focuses on Drew, the avoidant partner in his relationship with Melissa, as they continue working through disconnection issues in their marriage.
Moving Towards a Positive Cycle & Understanding the Avoidant Partner
In this week's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew recount a transformative moment from their Fourth of July weekend. Picture this: amidst the typical holiday stress, a disagreement escalates in front of their kids. Instead of spiraling further, they pause and ask each other, "Hey, can we try this again?" It's a simple question, but one that marks a significant milestone in their journey.
Handling Crisis: The Anxious-Avoidant Clash
This week on the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew share their breakthroughs and real-life applications of their therapy work with Julie Menanno. They've been learning to identify and break their negative cycles, but as always, the journey is full of ups and downs.
Take me Out to the Ballgame: Navigating Attachment Fears and Finding Co-Regulation
In this episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew find themselves caught in a familiar struggle at a baseball game with their kids. Drew checks out, feeling overwhelmed, leaving Melissa to handle the kids alone. Sound familiar?
Apply To Be On The Podcast
Are you and your partner open to exploring your relationship with guidance from Julie Menanno while sharing your journey with others? We’re looking for couples willing to participate in real-time recorded sessions for an upcoming season of The Secure Love Podcast.
This is a unique opportunity to receive support while helping others learn through your experience. Sessions will be recorded and shared publicly via podcast platforms, our website, and social media.
If you're interested, please complete this form. Both partners must participate in the application process.