A Secure Attachment Isn’t Bliss—It’s Safety

Rethinking What Secure Love Feels Like

A secure attachment between partners isn't an eternal state of bliss.

It’s a felt sense—of being cared for, valued, appreciated, validated, trusted, trusting, heard, seen, and like a successful partner.

Feelings of bliss are nice. They’re intense. But they’re also fleeting.

What actually sustains a secure relationship isn’t intensity—it’s consistency.

Secure attachment feels calm. Grounded. Enduring. It creates the emotional closeness and safety that allow each partner to show up fully, even when life is hard or conflict arises.

If you're chasing bliss, you might miss the deeper emotional security already available to you. Or you might dismiss it entirely, not recognizing that calm connection is the true foundation of a lasting bond.

Related Resources

Attachment 101 Course – Learn what secure attachment really feels like and how to build it in your relationship

Relationship Coaching – Get support in creating emotional consistency and connection that goes beyond highs and lows

Julie’s Bi-Weekly Group – Explore how to deepen emotional safety and connection through live guidance and Q&A

The Secure Love Podcast – Listen to real couples work toward secure attachment through calm, steady emotional presence

Feelings of bliss are nice, but intense and fleeting; a felt sense of emotional closeness and safety is calm and enduring.
— Julie Menanno

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Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC

Julie Menanno, MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. Julie operates a clinical therapy practice in Bozeman, Montana, and leads a global relationship coaching practice with a team of trained coaches. She is an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples and specializes in attachment issues within relationships.

Julie is the author of the best-selling book Secure Love, published by Simon and Schuster in January 2024. She provides relationship insights to over 1.3 million Instagram followers and hosts The Secure Love Podcast, where she shares real-time couples coaching sessions to help listeners navigate relational challenges. Julie also hosts a bi-weekly discussion group on relationship and self-help topics. A sought-after public speaker and podcast guest, Julie is dedicated to helping individuals and couples foster secure, fulfilling relationships.

Julie lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband of 25 years, their six children, and their beloved dog. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, skiing, Pilates, reading psychology books, and studying Italian.

https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/
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