The Secure Love PodcastFree Homework for The Secure Love Podcast
Get a practical exercise for every session of The Secure Love Podcast, so you can take what therapist Julie Menanno works through with real couples and practice it in your own relationship this week.
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What is the Secure Love Podcast homework?
The Secure Love Podcast homework is a free library of written exercises, one for each session of the podcast. Every exercise takes what happened in that session, such as mapping a negative cycle, naming the fear underneath anger, or repairing after a fight, and turns it into something you can practice on your own or with your partner.
The homework is created by Julie Menanno, LMFT, LCPC, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of the Simon & Schuster book Secure Love, and it is grounded in attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the same frameworks she uses with couples every day.
What you get
Every season, in one library
One link holds the homework for all three seasons. New exercises are added to the same link whenever a new episode comes out.
Season 3 · 18 sessionsSlowing down the cycle
Follow one couple from their first session to co-regulation.
Map Your Cycle With TEMPO
Hearing Pain Without Solving It
Asking for Help
Season 2 · 18 sessionsFrom protest to repair
Anger, leaving, lying and the wounds underneath them.
Fill In Your Negative Cycle Map
The Co-Regulation Conversation
Validation Exercise
Season 1 · 19 episodesWhere it all started
The anxious and avoidant dance, one conversation at a time.
Breaking the Negative Cycle
Facing the Inner Critic
Understanding the Anxious Partner
How it works
One session, one exercise, one week
The homework is short on purpose. What matters is that you actually try it.
1
Listen to a session
Hear Julie work through a real moment with a real couple.
2
Open its homework
Find that session in your library. Each one has its own exercise.
3
Try ONE exercise
On your own or with your partner. Narrow it down to one moment, not the whole relationship.
You do not have to do all of it. Pick the episode you just listened to and start there.
Why it’s worth doing
Why do the podcast homework
Listening helps you understand your relationship. Practicing is what changes it. A script you have only heard is information. A script you have said out loud is a new experience for your nervous system.
Turn what you hear into words you can actually say
See your own negative cycle, not just someone else’s
Find the fear and the need underneath the argument
Practice repair before the next hard moment arrives
A sample exercise
What a homework exercise looks like
From Season 3, Session 11, “You Can’t Problem Solve Your Way Out of Pain.” One of you is the speaker and one of you is the listener. The listener’s job is NOT to fix anything.
“I’m hurting right now, and here’s why.” The speaker starts with the hurt, not the event. The listener notices the urge to solve it, repeats back what they heard, and stays there. “Of course you felt alone. I’m right here.” Only when things feel softer do you decide together whether there is anything to solve.
After the homework
Where to go next
The Secure Love Podcast
All three seasons, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music and YouTube.
The Secure Love Club
Keep practicing with live calls, the video library and people who get it.
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It is a free library of written exercises, one for each session of The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno. Each exercise turns what happened in that session into something you can practice in your own relationship that week.
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Yes. Enter your name and email and the full homework library is sent to you at no cost. You can unsubscribe at any time.
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It helps. Each exercise is built around what the couple worked on in that session, so listening first gives you the example. The exercises still make sense on their own if you prefer to start with the homework.
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Yes. Most exercises can be done on your own or with your partner. If you do them together, each of you completes the exercise separately and then you use it to have a conversation.
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Start with the episode you listened to most recently. If you are new, Season 3, Session 1 introduces TEMPO, a simple way to slow down and map what happens inside you when you get triggered.
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New homework is added to the same library each time a new episode is released, so the link you receive always has the latest exercises.
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The homework is created by Julie Menanno, LMFT, LCPC, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Secure Love, and her team at The Secure Relationship. It is grounded in attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
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No. The homework is educational and is not therapy or a diagnosis. Many people use it alongside therapy or coaching. If you want support applying it, The Secure Relationship offers coaching and The Secure Love Club.
Questions
Podcast homework FAQ
Start this week
Ready to do the homework?
Every session, every season, one link. Free, from a licensed couples therapist.