Learn how to turn everyday interactions into an “attachment-friendly” environment, swap reflexive fight-or-flight reactions for healthy connection, and use Julie’s E-V-I-C-T framework to keep shame (and negative cycles) out of your relationship.

In Part 1 of Chapter 5, we explore what it takes to interrupt your negative cycle in the moment. Julie shares how to slow down, name the pattern, and choose connection over protection—even when it’s hard.

Get stuck in the same argument with your partner? The Mapping Your Negative Cycle workshop helps you uncover what’s really happening—and how to change it.

Shame is often the hidden force behind emotional disconnection. This workshop helps you understand, name, and work with shame—so it no longer controls your relationships.

In emotionally stuck relationships, your partner isn’t the enemy. The negative cycle is. Learn how to identify the cycle, understand each other’s roles, and begin the process of healing.

Emotional presence is the ability to join someone in their feelings without losing yourself in the process. When practiced consistently, it deepens connection and builds trust.

When your partner is upset, they don’t always need a solution. Sometimes, what they need most is to know you’re with them in it. That’s emotional attunement—and it can change everything.

If you’re not showing up, there’s none of you to connect with. Authenticity is the foundation of emotional availability—and it's something you can learn.

Emotional validation isn’t about agreeing with your partner—it’s about showing them that their feelings matter. And when it comes to emotional availability, few things are more powerful.

Tough conversations can easily spiral into disconnection when couples fall into the negative cycle. But it doesn’t have to go that way. These tips can help you communicate better, create emotional safety, and stay connected even when things get hard.

Avoidant partners aren’t trying to push love away—they’re trying to avoid the shame, fear, and overwhelm of feeling like they’re never enough. Here’s what’s happening beneath the shutdown.

The negative cycle is the real enemy in many relationships. It’s not about who left socks on the floor—it’s about how that moment touches deeper fears, needs, and emotions that create disconnection.

Each attachment style holds a story—about fear, need, and connection. When we give those stories words, we begin the process of healing, connection, and secure attachment.