Attachment Based Relationship Tips
Looking to strengthen your relationship? Our blog offers expert relationship tips rooted in attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy. Learn how to identify your attachment style, communicate more effectively, and foster emotional safety with your partner. From overcoming conflict to building deeper trust, our practical advice and tools, created by couples therapist Julie Menanno, are designed to help you move toward a secure and fulfilling connection. Dive in and start transforming your relationships today!
Chapter 9: Attachment Injuries and Repair
In Chapter 9 of Secure Love, we explore attachment injuries—what they are, how they form, and what it takes to repair them. These moments of relational pain shape our protective strategies, but they also offer an opportunity for deeper connection if we’re willing to stay emotionally engaged.
Chapter Eight: Repairing After the Cycle
Repairing after a negative cycle is one of the most powerful skills in a relationship. In Chapter Eight of the Secure Love Book Club, Julie Menanno guides readers through the process of emotional repair—what it looks like, why it’s hard, and how to make it meaningful.
Reaching and Responding: Chapter 7 of the Secure Love Book Club
Reaching and responding are the smallest, most powerful moves in a relationship—and the ones most likely to be misunderstood. Chapter 7 helps you spot the reach, respond with intention, and change the entire trajectory of a moment.
Preventing Your Negative Cycle: Chapter 6 of the Secure Love Book Club
Learn how to turn everyday interactions into an “attachment-friendly” environment, swap reflexive fight-or-flight reactions for healthy connection, and use Julie’s E-V-I-C-T framework to keep shame (and negative cycles) out of your relationship.
Interrupting Your Negative Cycle: Chapter 5 (Part 2) of the Secure Love Book Club
In Part 2 of Chapter 5, Julie ditches the slide deck for a full hour of live Q & A—pressure-testing interruption tools on real couples, unpacking avoidant re-engagement, and prescribing homework that turns resentment into micro-repairs before Chapter 6.
Interrupting Your Negative Cycle: Chapter 5 (Part 1) of the Secure Love Book Club
In Part 1 of Chapter 5, we explore what it takes to interrupt your negative cycle in the moment. Julie shares how to slow down, name the pattern, and choose connection over protection—even when it’s hard.
What Is Your Negative Cycle?: Chapter 4 of the Secure Love Book Club
In Chapter 4 of the Secure Love Book Club, Julie Menanno explores how negative cycles—not your partner—keep you stuck. Learn how to map your cycle and begin the path to healing disconnection.
Identifying Your Attachment Style: Chapter 3 of the Secure Love Book Club
In Chapter 3 of Secure Love, we begin one of the most foundational steps in the healing process—identifying your attachment style. In this session, I guide readers through recognizing the patterns that shape how they relate, connect, and protect themselves in relationships.
Chapter 2 of Secure Love: Understanding Attachment Theory in Relationships
In this week’s Secure Love Book Club, I guide you through Chapter 2, where we unpack the fundamentals of attachment theory and how it affects your ability to feel safe, seen, and connected in romantic relationships.
Secure Love Book Club – Chapter One: The Problem Beneath the Problem
In this first meeting of the Secure Love Book Club, Julie Menanno introduces the foundation of her book and dives into Chapter One, helping participants understand how negative cycles erode connection and how we can begin to heal by recognizing the deeper pain underneath conflict.

Most couples believe that if they could just get on the same page, their conflicts would finally settle down. The problem is that agreement alone does not guarantee connection. You can agree and still feel unseen. You can disagree and stay deeply bonded.
In this meeting, Emotional Safety vs. Agreement, we will look at conflict through an emotional safety lens. We will explore what emotional safety actually feels like, what happens in the nervous system when safety drops, and how negative cycles begin when you and your partner stop feeling safe with each other.
You will learn:
The difference between emotional safety and agreement
How your nervous system reacts during conflict
How to recognize when safety has dropped between you
Emotional safety scripts you can use in real time
What to say less of and what to say more of when you want connection
How to repair after a moment where safety went missing
Thank you for doing this work with me and for your courage in looking at your patterns with honesty and compassion.