In this meeting, Julie Menanno discusses the topic "Seeing the Value in Your Moves and Your Partner's Moves," focusing on the defensive behaviors couples use in negative relationship cycles. These "moves," while often harmful, are protective strategies to avoid pain like disconnection or shame. Julie explains that these behaviors stem from a lack of alternative ways to stay safe or express needs and provides examples such as protesting, defensiveness, and shutting down.

The presentation emphasizes that while these negative moves don't work, they have underlying value as they signal unmet needs, such as wanting to feel heard, appreciated, or understood. Julie encourages participants to move away from shaming these behaviors and instead, confront and understand them. She discusses the importance of replacing these moves with vulnerability and healthy assertion, where partners openly express their feelings and respond positively to each other’s vulnerability.

If you're interested in how to recognize these patterns in your own relationships and learn strategies for healthier communication, this recording is insightful and offers practical advice for building stronger connections.

Download Slides