This meeting revolved around defending and deflecting behaviors in relationships, particularly focusing on how they manifest in individuals with avoidant attachment styles. Julie describes defending as a response where individuals feel personally attacked and try to convince their partner that they are not bad, wrong, or unworthy, in an attempt to avoid shame, rejection, or having their needs neglected. Deflecting, on the other hand, involves turning the focus back on the partner to avoid being seen as the bad one and to protect oneself from feeling shame, rejection, or having their needs disregarded.

Julie provides examples and strategies for addressing these behaviors, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and communication in navigating relationship challenges. She suggested approaches such as recognizing triggers, giving space for open dialogue, setting boundaries, and taking breaks to ground oneself before engaging in difficult conversations.