Attachment-Friendly Boundaries Sound Like This
Attachment-Friendly Boundaries Sound Like This
In a secure relationship, boundaries don’t threaten connection—they protect it.
Attachment-friendly boundaries are rooted in:
Closeness
Emotional safety
Mutual care
The belief that both partners matter
Instead of withdrawing or blaming, these boundaries express a need while protecting the relationship.
"You and this relationship mean everything to me. That's why I have to walk away when you say something mean; it's my way of protecting what we have."
“I can’t feel safe and close to you when I can’t trust your words. Something needs to change.”
“I know how much you need to be heard, and I can handle you telling me about your anger. But I can’t hear you when it’s coming at me in a condescending tone. I need to feel respected in order to be open to you. Can we try it differently?”
Support for Practicing Boundaries with Care
Relationship Coaching – Learn how to communicate your boundaries without disconnecting
Understanding Shame Workshop – Work through the guilt and fear that often makes boundary-setting difficult
Couple and Individual Group – Get live support and practice setting boundaries in real time
“Attachment-friendly boundaries don’t shut your partner out—they protect the connection between you.”
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In Chapter 9 of Secure Love, we explore attachment injuries—what they are, how they form, and what it takes to repair them. These moments of relational pain shape our protective strategies, but they also offer an opportunity for deeper connection if we’re willing to stay emotionally engaged.