In this week’s group, I talked about what self-love actually means through an attachment lens. Not confidence or positivity, but the ability to stay with yourself when emotions become uncomfortable. As you watch the recording, you’ll hear how self-abandonment and self-protection develop, how they tend to show up differently for anxious and avoidant attachment, and why both are rooted in the same need for safety. I walk you through practical ways to notice when you move away from your feelings, identify the fear underneath, and respond with care instead of criticism. We also work with shame and the inner critic as protective responses rather than problems to eliminate. If you struggle to stay connected to yourself when you’re triggered or rely on your partner to regulate what feels overwhelming inside, this session will help you build emotional safety from the inside out.

Most couples believe that if they could just get on the same page, their conflicts would finally settle down. The problem is that agreement alone does not guarantee connection. You can agree and still feel unseen. You can disagree and stay deeply bonded.

In this meeting, Emotional Safety vs. Agreement, we will look at conflict through an emotional safety lens. We will explore what emotional safety actually feels like, what happens in the nervous system when safety drops, and how negative cycles begin when you and your partner stop feeling safe with each other.

You will learn:

• The difference between emotional safety and agreement

• How your nervous system reacts during conflict

• How to recognize when safety has dropped between you

• Emotional safety scripts you can use in real time

• What to say less of and what to say more of when you want connection

• How to repair after a moment where safety went missing

Thank you for doing this work with me and for your courage in looking at your patterns with honesty and compassion.

If you’ve ever wondered why your attachment style feels different in various relationships or why emotional work can feel overwhelming, this session will help you understand those shifts and guide you toward greater self-compassion and awareness.

If you’ve ever found yourself chasing a partner who pulls away, or needing space from someone who seems to need more from you than you can give, this session will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Julie breaks down how these two attachment styles are both reacting to the same fear — losing connection — but in completely opposite ways. The anxious partner’s pursuit and the avoidant partner’s withdrawal are both coping mechanisms meant to protect the self from pain, yet they often create the very disconnection both fear most.